Do you enjoy a good joke, or two, or three?  Well, if so, you are definitely on the right site.  So make yourself comfortable, relax and enjoy a great laugh.

Greetings!

Welcome to the casino winners section for gambling jokes and fun.  We have tons of good jokes to share with you and we will be continually adding new ones, so don’t let this be a one off visit – check us out on a regular basis.

At casino winners you can enjoy the funniest online gaming happenings of your day.  Jokes galore will bring vivacity into your life in seconds.  Casinos are places where you can find countless crazy and riotous tales about the weird and wacky, but the one thing you can always depend on is a profusion of pleasure.  When it comes to great quality humour, with rich and rewarding content, we’re the best.  Gambling is fun, so take time out for a laugh and browse our selection of jokes about casino winners.

Need Convincing?

Still not sure?  How about this then?

Bob had been gambling in Las Vegas all weekend, but things were really not going at all well.  He had lost over $30,000 – all his money, including his disaster fund!  He even had to scrounge a coin from another player to go to the bath room.  By pure luck he came across a stall that had been left open, so on his way out of the casino he put the borrowed coin in a slot machine and, guess what, he hit the $500 jackpot!  Right away he returned to the blackjack table with his winnings and with Lady Luck sitting on his shoulder, he turned his prize money into millions of dollars.

Richer than he ever thought possible, Bob toured the country telling his incredible gambling story to all that would listen.  He always told his audience of unlucky gamblers that he was so indebted to his backer that should he discover the man who made his present lifestyle possible he would split his riches with him, right down the middle.  After several months of lecturing a guy in the audience leaped up and said “I am that person, I’m the man that gave you the coin”.  Bob replied “Sorry, but you’re not the person I’m searching for; I’m trying to find the guy that left the stall door open!”

Great joke?  Not your “cup of tea”?  Got any better ones?  Let us know.

Adiós but not Goodbye

Whatever your sense of humour you are sure to find lots to amuse you at casino winners.  Don’t forget – gambling is fun, so visit us often and take a break to relax and laugh.  Good luck!

Fed up with the whole thing Frankie puts all of his chips on 00 and watches as the ball spins and lands on it! He’s jumping up and down in excitement at his luck (mind you it’s free Roulette) and his pants fall down and his business is fully exposed to the group.

Linda and Ruth each have a stroke , Estelle is standing too far away.

Frank: “My wife is tired of Vegas and wants to go to a casino somewhere in Asia”
Phil: “Tibet?”
Frank: “Of course moron, otherwise she’d go to a spa!”

A man walks into a poker room and sits down next to Siamese twins. You winning he asks?
“Everything she’s lost, I’ve won” they replied.

A group of cowboys are at the local saloon playing a game of 5 card stud. Guns in their belts they watch each movement of the player next to them to assure nothing fishy is going on. The final hand is being played and the stakes are high.
Following the deal the a cowboy lays his cards out on the table.
“He’s Cheatin!” yells one cowboy.
How do you know asks the accused cheater.
Cause those aren’t the cards I dealt you!

“My guests,” he stated, “I am going to make a one time only offer. If any man is able to swim through my alligator tank, I will marry him off to my daughter and provide him with a few million as a reward.”

Just as the man is saying a few million there is a splash, followed by a a poor soul swimming, panting and pushing his way through the mud to get to the podium where the rich casino owner is standing.

“WOW,” exclaims the businessman. “that was not only unexpected, it was unbelievably fast.” As promised the businessman offers his daughter and calls his banker to get a transfer ready.

“I don’t need your money,” says the wet, muddy gentleman, who happens to be a professional blackjack player at the man’s casino. “I just want to find the sonovabitch that pushed me in!”

The next day the man went outside to walk the dog and saw there was a hole dug in the doghouse and footsteps of dirt which led to a neighbor’s house up the road. This neighbor was deaf so the man ran over to a friend, still hungover from their trip, and explained the situation. The friend spoke sign language so the two went over to the neighbor’s house to demand the money.

The two threw the door open, grabbed the man out of bed. The man told his friend to tell the deaf neighbor that if he didn’t give him his money back, he would shoot him immediately. The friend relayed this message, to which the deaf man stated, “OK OK, the money is in the safe behind the painting in the next room, please take it, I am sorry.”

The translator turns to his friend and says, “he’s not gonna tell us where it is and says he’d rather die.”

“John, one of our poker regulars dropped out and we need a fourth, get over here,” says Dr. Franklin.

Dr. Levi replies, “I’m on my way” and runs to the door, grabbing his jacket on the way.

His wife, used to this sort of thing says, “Honey is it serious?”

Levi, halfway out the door as if somebody is having a heart attack tell his wife

“Yes darling, very serious. In fact there is a team of doctors there already!”

1. Bingo Support phones you for assistance.
2. When a colleague tells a funny joke you say “LOL” out loud.
3. If you enter a room with more than 23 people in it, you ask management about the size of the Bingo pots.
4. You know your online Bingo friends’ daily activities better than your own spouse’s.
5. When someone asks “What did you say?” you scream “Bingo!”
6. You change your Bingo nickname so often that you have to check your own Bingo profile find out who you are.
7. Before logging it to a Bingo game, you pack a picnic, a flashlight and tent.
8. You spend more time saying good-bye to Bingo friends when logging out of a game than you do saying good-bye to real-life friends when leaving a dinner party.
9. You introduced your shrink to online Bingo and you both are now have your sessions in in private Bingo Chat rooms.
10. Your license plate has your Bingo nickname on it.

“What was that for?” he asks his wife.

“What was that for? That was for the Sweet Mary Lou I found scribbled on a sheet of paper in your pants pocket while doing the laundry yesterday,” she replies.

The man explains, “Last week I went to the races and Sweet Mary Lou was the horse I bet on.”

Satisfied with this explanation, the man’s wife serves dinner and they enjoy the evening together.

One week later the man sits down to the same table to have the same dinner and receives the same whack on the head with the frying pan.

“What the hell was that for?” he asks.

His wife responds: “Your horse phoned.”

“Play your age,” he said.

The woman smiled and put her money on 29, then watched the ball spin and fall on lucky number 41.

“I won, I won!” she shouted, apparently forgetting she had bet on her “age”, not her age.

Her boyfriend, who until now believed she was 29, fainted. The woman then fainted once she realized her $1,000 payday was being awarded to the 41-year-old lady next to her.

In roulette, like in love…..It pays to tell the truth.

Confused, the player asks why.
“Well, a waiter serves you dinner, but because he doesn’t make it, the quality is irrelevant to whether or not he gets tipped. I serve you cards in the same way, so you should tip me.”
“I guess you are right, “concedes the player, “but a waiter gives me what I order, so I’ll take a Queen.”